The In Between Phase

Written on October 21, 2013

For as long as I can remember my name as a teacher was Miss Ivey. It was what I was used to hearing. I remember joking with my students at times that I was going to get married just so I could hear a new name (if you teach you know what I mean :). … and that’s exactly what happened.

To start off let me say that I love beginning married. Yes there has been an adjustment of figuring out life together, but how sweet it has been to be able to share life with each other on a daily basis- no saying goodbye. At the same time I have found myself struggling to find my role, to find out where I fit and belong. I am no longer single so I don’t feel that I fit with the singles and although I am married many of those that are married around me have kids. Although it is my heart’s desire to be a Mom sometime I can’t relate to what it is like to have kids in the home or to having your life revolve around the schedule of a baby or toddler.

I find myself in a tug of war of sorts. Where do I fit? Where do I belong? I am no longer Miss Ivey. I am now Mrs. Longenecker. I am in an in between phase of sorts that doesn’t exactly make sense at the moment. I find myself trying to come up with a plan for how to get out of this phase, this funk that I have seemed to have slipped into. As I ponder this even now I wonder… are these questions I should be asking?

I am reminded of Esther who was given a role for ‘such a time as this’. She wasn’t fighting the place or role that God had given her; rather she was embracing her role. She was doing everything in her power to use her role to help those around her. Why am I fighting? Why can’t I just embrace the role and the place that I am in currently? I seem to remember this was a challenge presented by Paul in 1 Corinthians 7- “…each one, should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him” (verse 17) and “Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him” (verse 20).

For the time being God has called me to a teacher, to be married…. nothing more and nothing less. May I stop fighting and embrace where He has placed me. May I be willing to set aside my thoughts on what I should be doing or what I should be and be exactly what He has called me to be for the time being.