Soccer and Healing

Growing up I was not in to sports. I was more the musical, like to read books, and sit on the side lines kind of kid. I would go to football games with friends as a social activity, but I didn’t always understand what was happening nor was I one to yell or cheer loudly. I sat quietly by, took pictures, and talked with those around me. When I came to China there were opportunities to coach various sports team- either middle school or high school students. I thought it would be a neat way to get to know students, but didn’t really feel that I had what it took to do so. So I found ways for myself and my students to support the coaches and the team whether through notes or hanging banners in the hallways and was content to continue in this way.

One of the first times that Ben and I were apart was when he was coaching a middle school soccer team. As this year’s season drew close the idea of the two of us coaching together came into a discussion. From the beginning I knew that I would need to rely on Ben for the coaching part- drills etc. and that I would be more of a moral support type of person. I enjoyed playing soccer, but my last memories of playing soccer involved tearing ligaments in my ankle- not so fun :(. As sign-ups began we quickly discovered that we weren’t going to have enough to start the season so Ben started practicing with the boys soccer team with the idea that if enough girls signed up then perhaps we could start a team together.

Two weeks into the season we had exactly enough girls for a team- 5 from our school and 2 from a local French school. Our first practice was indoors due to the rain. I tried to complete the activities alongside the girls, but as I was still recovering from a miscarriage I held back a bit. We took a few minutes to share with the girls our goals for the season- teamwork, encouragement, and try your best.

Practices continued twice a week from this point on. I could see myself at this age so many times in these girls- many were afraid of the ball, many were learning the game for the first time, and many were learning how to build confidence in themselves. As the soccer tournament drew near we learned that we would gain additional players in order to have subs (with our current numbers the girls wouldn’t be able to take breaks during games). We weren’t sure what this would look like, but we continued having drills, ran games with the boys soccer team, and even played a high school team that was training to be in the Olympics (side note- this team was amazing and really helped our girls learn not only strategies on how to play, but also encouraged them to step it up a notch).

The tournament weekend arrived. I said goodbye to my students and we headed to Qingdao. It was so nice to be with Ben this go round rather than being apart. We had our first meeting together, passed out goody bags, and met our additional players. Although a bit awkward at first the girls truly blended well together. We played a total of three games our first day- the first we won, the second we tied, and the third we won. I was so proud of how they had come together and how hard they were fighting. They had such great attitudes despite the fact that it was cold and at times raining. At one point I surprised myself when I jumped in the air when one of the girls scored a goal.

In between games we had the chance to take the girls to the beach. They all quickly formed a circle and started a game with one of the soccer balls we had on hand. Ben was watching all of their stuff and I found myself drawn to the water. Despite that fact that I wasn’t wearing the proper shoes and the fact that the tide was coming in I was quite determined to find a way to make it to the water. So I took a break from the group and made my way to the crashing waves. There were people walking around, fishing, and taking pictures, but I didn’t hear them. I only heard the waves and whistle of the air. As I breathed in the salty air and saw the beautiful view of mountains and water my heart felt this overwhelming sense of peace. Here I was in Qingdao China with my husband standing by the ocean with a group of amazing, fun-loving girls. I was here not as a spectator, but as coach. Never in my wildest dreams would I have dreamed this one up.

I knew I couldn’t stay long, but as I took one last look at the view around me in my heart I heard the Father speak to me ‘I love you my child’. It was at that moment that I knew that despite all that had gone on in my life over the past few months the Father had not left me. He planned this moment by the ocean to not only hear these words, but to begin the inner healing that must come after a time of loss. As I made my way back to my husband and the girls I couldn’t help but smile. Although it hadn’t felt like it at times He had been with me each step of the way. He took a non-athletic girl from Georgia and put the idea of coaching into her head. Despite a late start that idea turned to a reality. To top it off He provided a quiet moment- a moment of inner healing. Who knew that coaching soccer could lead to a moment such as this :)