Marriage vs. Teaching

We just returned from our annual teaching conference in Beijing. There we sat in multiple sessions about teaching strategies, ideas for improvement, and reminders of what we should be doing in our classroom. One presenter shared the idea that nothing she was sharing was new and was probably all information that we had learned in our under grad programs. The purpose of sharing the information now was that we now had context to go with the information we were hearing.
I started thinking about this idea of learning information before having context to work with. My mind moved beyond teaching to marriage. Before Ben and I were married we met with different couples for counseling, received direction from the pastor that married us, had multiple discussions using guided questions, and read book after book of advice and suggestions on what would make our marriage last. I do believe that all the preparation we went through was not only helpful, but beneficial. At the same time no matter how many ways you prepare for marriage there is nothing like having context to go with all the preparation that got you there in the first place.

Now I will say right off the bat that having only been married for three months I am by no means an expert at marriage. At the same time I will say there is something about taking all that information that you have been cramming in our head for some many months and actually having the context to apply it to. Is it easy? No, it requires lots of communication (hmm…. It seems like this was one of the top words of advice from friends… communicate, communicate, communicate :).

There is a huge learning curve as you learn how the day in and day out should work. As you try to determine who is responsible for which chores. As you learn what it is like to share space while at the same time giving each other space. In many ways I found myself going into marriage with huge expectations on myself. I wanted to be the 1950s housewife that kept a perfect home, who prepared gourmet meals for her husband every night, and somehow was able to look put together in the process. But how was that possible with both of us working full time jobs as well as being involved in afterschool activities?

I am so grateful to be married to a man that doesn’t have these expectations of me and who has multiple times over come beside me to help around the house from mopping to going grocery shopping. His patience has helped this process of transition …..of figuring out life together so much easier.

Now if only I could find ways to give myself grace in this area….. I have a feeling this is going to be a daily dying to self; a daily laying my day at His feet. I know I will need all the help I can get. May the verses from Psalms 139 be my heart’s desire.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-24)