Monday, May 25, 2015

Lessons from Motherhood

Written May 18, 2015

I have only been a Mom for just shy of 4 months now, but it has by far been one of the most stretching and rewarding jobs I have ever had. My little one has taught me so much (although I am pretty sure she doesn’t realize it :) so I decided in honor of Mother’s Day this month I would take the time to write down some of the things I have learned during this new phase in life.

1-Start the day with a smile- I can never remember a time where I was a morning person. I have always enjoyed sleeping in, lazy Sunday mornings, and sleep in general. Having a child definitely changes your sleep patterns and although we have gotten into more of a routine with sleeping multiple hours in a row I still find myself waking up throughout the night (got used to all those late night feedings I suppose). Despite this there is nothing sweeter than waking up and looking over into Emma’s little bed and seeing her smiling face. She may not be happy when I pick her up and she realizes how hungry she is, but regardless she started the day on the right foot and it is a good reminder to me that despite the early hour it may be at the time starting the day with a smile is always a good way to go.

2-Slow down- One thing that feeding a newborn every two hours has taught me is the importance of taking the time to slow down. I constantly get in go mode and try to tackle a hundred different things all at once so actually having to sit down multiple times throughout the day has really sifted my focus to the importance of actually taking a breather throughout the day. Whether I just sit and do nothing, read a book, watch a show, or work on a fun craft or project. It really does help give me a mental break of sorts from whatever I am working on at the time.

3-Naps are important- While we are on the subject of slowing down I am reminded of the importance of taking naps. I am typically not a huge fan of naps. Most of the time in fact they make me feel quite groggy and out of it to the point where I avoid them all together. Sometimes though when exhaustion hits you just have to stop and take advantage of your little ones nap and take one yourself. It is amazing what 30 mins of rest can do to ones outlook on life.

4-The Housework can wait- When Ben and I first got married I vowed I would be the most amazing housewife that kept a clean home and prepared amazing meals. That was easier said than done when we were both working full time jobs, but I was still able to keep a schedule of sorts where I would take care of certain jobs at certain times throughout the week (wash towels on Saturday, wash dishes nightly etc.). With a baby in the picture that has drastically changed my weekly schedule. I can no longer go to the store whenever I want to or prepare detailed recipes for dinner. Although we have settled into some sort of routine things come up throughout the day that may require a bit of reshuffling or restricting to the day. Emma may have a fussy afternoon which means dinner may be delayed (or burned :), the dishes and laundry may pile up, and the floors may not be cleaned as regularly as hoped. Ben has been so gracious during this time of transition. Not only has he gone above and beyond with helping me get things done, but he has also on many occasions watched Emma so I could tackle a project or focus on dinner (without interruptions). He has also been very understanding when coming home to a bit of a chaotic house which happens more nights than others.

5-Messes Happen- On that note let me just say it in another way…messes happen. There are going to be days where the baby has an explosive diaper that involves major clean-up of the changing station. There will be days where they throw up all over the couch and the floor and you end up having to dismantle the entire sofa, take a shower, changing clothes mid-morning (both yours and the babys), and you start the day feeling like you got nothing done. Hang in there! Those days will come. Life is messy (sometimes literally speaking :) and the sooner we can step back and give ourselves grace for mistakes whether big or small the better.

6-Take a walk- We have discovered that just like Daddy Emma likes to get out of the house. She loves going on adventures big or small-whether to the local grocery store or on the subway across town. There have been days where she has been extremely fussy or out of sorts and as soon as I pull out the carrier and take her outside she is perfectly fine. I consider myself to be more of a home body, but there is something about getting out of the house for a bit-even if just for a walk around the block. It is a time to not only get a little exercise, but to get a break and clear your head from what is going on at home.

7-Little things are big deals- I am a ‘to do’ list kind of person. I love making lists and I have joked that my lists have lists. I am constantly writing down notes to myself of all kinds from what to buy at the store to little projects I need to tackle around the apartment. When you have a baby a ‘to do’ list many days gets thrown out the door. Once a routine is put in place you began to start feeling a bit more normal, but there are still days where you end up strapping your baby in the carrier to get chores done around the house, you don’t make it to the store because it would be too much trouble to go out in the pouring down rain…..there are days when taking a shower is a huge victory and you feel like super women if you are able to not only bathe, but put a hot meal on the table. If you send an e-mail or fold a pile of laundry you feel like you should receive an award or have a standing ovation as you walk down the road. Little things really do become big deals. You appreciate things like never before. You began to savor a cup of tea when you have those few moments, you enjoy silence when it happens as you know it won’t be for long, you appreciate each page of a book that you are able to read, and watching a show without screaming in the background is an amazing feat.

8-You can’t do it alone- For as long as I can remember I have heard the phrase it takes a village to raise a child. After having one of my own I totally understand what they were trying to say. It is so important to have the support of your family and friends on this journey. We need people to share with, to bounce ideas back and forth with, to hold our child when we can’t seem to calm them down, to pray for us, to give us words of advice and affirmation after a long day at home…. relationships are important. They are what get us through the tough times and lift our spirits when we need a bit of encouragement.

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