Coffee with God

As I write this Ben is at school preparing a goat brain for tomorrow’s dissection. Although I stopped by for a quick picture my stomach couldn’t handle the smell nor could my ears handle the noise as he sawed through the goat’s skull. So after wrapping up a few lose ends in my classroom I made my way to Starbucks for a time of reading and processing through the day (or past few days for that matter). As I sat down at my seat with a cake and coffee in hand I looked up to see a chair empty in front of me. The first thing that came to my mind was ‘Coffee with God’. This title stuck in my head and I began to ponder those few words. Coffee…hmm… although I didn’t mind the smell growing up I never appreciated the taste until Ben and I started dating (he introduced me to vanilla lattes :). I thought back to the many times I sat with a coffee in hand on a date nights with Ben. We discussed dreams, answered each other’s questions, and shared for hours as if we had all the time in the world. I also think back to the many shopping trips or adventures to get a haircut that led to stopping in for a coffee. Over a cup of coffee conversation flowed or a few minutes to rest and read took place. Regardless so many memories have revolved around sitting and enjoying coffee.

So for today I visit this idea of ‘Coffee with God’. What would that look like or rather is it just a frame of mind- taking the time to slow down enough to enjoy something savory- whether that be a cup of coffee or truth from His Word. In a recent blog post I mentioned the idea of being still. This is not always something I want to do and so often it is easy to just plug along and get the many ‘to do’s off ones list. But as I write this and I consider enjoying a cup of coffee and a slice of chocolate cake I have to smile and think that just for this moment of time I can enjoy a time of solace, a time where no one demands my time, no problems have to be figured out for tomorrow….rather I can sit with my Maker and enjoy an ice cold vanilla latte. How truly sweet to be reminded that whether we are sitting in a coffee shop or are walking through town He is with us. No matter where we are we can take the time to enjoy a cup of coffee (whether in the figurative or literal sense of the word :).

'Be Still'...

‘Be still’ is not exactly part of my vocabulary. My mind is constantly running in a million different directions to the point where when I am still I probably have a ‘to do’ list playing out in my mind- What will we eat for dinner? What else do I need to prepare for tomorrow’s lesson? Should I tackle the laundry tonight or continue organizing? and on and on I can go.

This weekend I had a bit of a wake-up call. After only two days of school I got sick. Not a little cold that makes you sneeze and a bit tired, but rather completely knocked out headache, fever, achiness… the works. I was quite frustrated with myself. It was not good timing in my mind. I was still trying to figure out things at school and this week would be my first full week with my students. So instead of diving head on into the week I was stuck in bed. Despite my exhaustion I was determined to get some work done so I washed some dishes, sent e-mails, typed up my weekly newsletter, and even started making dinner plans. Then my computer started running super slow so I decided to restart it. After multiple attempts to turn it back on I decided that all hope was not gone…I could just start using Ben’s computer.

It was then that it hit me. Was I making the most of my day? Was I taking it easy and allowing my body to get the rest that I needed? Had I taken the time to ‘Be Still’ or was I determined to move forward despite how I was feeling? And so I slowed down for a time of reflection.

After Ben and I got married he wrapped up his annual read through the Bible. When he started back up again I decided to join him so I am currently knee deep in Exodus. As I revisited this familiar chapter today I was reminded of a passage I recently read in chapter 14 verse 14 “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” I was reminded of how hard I had been fighting over the past few months to simply keep my head above water - to be a principal, a teacher, a fiancé (now wife), daughter, and friend. When I reached moments of feeling defeat (when I didn’t think I had lived up to my expectations for myself) I beat myself up on the inside telling myself that I had failed those around me. The problem was I wasn’t letting Him fight for me. I was trying to do everything on my own strength, in my own way, and in my own timing. For a while it seemed to work, but no one can go on forever without taking the time to rest, to ‘Be Still’.

Since I have known Ben he has been a proponent of me taking breaks and getting rest. Needless to say I haven’t always been supportive of this idea as I felt there were too many things that needed to be done. But O how sweet to think back to the times when I did listen to his advice. When I took a leap of faith to take a day off, when I pushed work aside for the moment to read and pray, when I spent time listening to a friend rather than checking off items on a list of ‘to dos’. To ‘Be Still’, to slow down…. is it easy? No and I’m afraid it will be a lesson that I will be learning time and time again. So for today as I sip my juice and take my meds I am content to ‘Be Still’, to lay this year at His feet, and to wait in anticipation of what He is going to do.

Back to blogging

This blog was originally set up for a technology class that I was taking while getting my Masters degree. Recently I decided to revisit this blog and start writing again. I just added a recent entry entitled: Thoughts on Home. I hope to visit this blog more often as a place to put my thoughts down on paper so to speak :)

Thoughts on Home

Written on July 28, 2013

Looking at magazines like Southern Living all these years painted a picture in my head of what a home should look like- perfectly dressed families with coordinating outfits, tables that are laden with elaborate meals and décor and seat 16 of your closest friends, and beds decked out in layers of the finest sheets and enough pillows to satisfy even the pickiest of pillow connoisseur. Upon getting married I pictured myself being one of the women pictured in the magazine. I imagined that my hope chest items that I had so carefully guarded along with wedding gifts would stock my home to be one of perfection. Little did I know that I would be called to a place on the other side of the world, a place that would limit me from using those precious breakable items stored up for so many years. I didn’t know that I would be setting up an apartment in a place where there wasn’t a Bed, Bath, and Beyond and that finding items that I deemed important would be impossible to find.

So would I fail in setting up the home of my dreams? Now that the wedding is over and my marriage has begun I have had many moments of wrestling with this question. How could I set up a home in a foreign country where so many things seemed to be complicated? In thinking through these things I began to think through what the word ‘home’ actually means. In the minds of the women of Southern Living a home focuses around the things you have and what they look like, how many shades of blue you are able to coordinate into a room, and if your peach pie has a perfectly golden crust. But, in the end do these things really matter? The Bible says that things will be destroyed by moth and dust- this I have witnessed all too often living where I do. If our focus is on the things of this world then our focus is not where it needs to be. A home should not be a place of stuff or things rather it should be a safe place for people to gather and fellowship, a place for a family to be raised in the truths of God’s Word, and a place where His message can be proclaimed to the world.
The easier route may be to stay in a comfy home where you have access to all that you need (and there is nothing wrong with doing so if that is where you have been called), but what does that mean for those of us that have been called to a place very far from what we remember to be ‘home’. Have we failed? Perhaps we have from the eyes of magazine, but in His eyes we haven’t failed. Yes there will be days where you will be absolutely frustrated, where things just don’t seem to go as planned, where everything you try to accomplish just doesn’t work the way you intended…. In the end it isn’t about us setting up our home, rather it is about Him setting up our home through us. As the saying goes ‘Home is where the Heart Is’. In many ways that is true. Where our hearts are- including the attitude of our hearts affects our outlook on what the word ‘home’ truly means.

So after processing through this a bit do I still harbor the desire for a perfect home- yes in some ways I do…. it will always be a dream to live in a Southern home with a white picket fence and a wrap-around porch. Who knows maybe one day it will happen. Until then I am confident that He who brought me all the way across the world sees the big picture and knows exactly what I need. For today I can smile as I write this as I watch the sun set over the lake and am reminded of the humble white picket fence from my bedroom window- He knows our every thought :)