Lessons from Motherhood

Written May 18, 2015

I have only been a Mom for just shy of 4 months now, but it has by far been one of the most stretching and rewarding jobs I have ever had. My little one has taught me so much (although I am pretty sure she doesn’t realize it :) so I decided in honor of Mother’s Day this month I would take the time to write down some of the things I have learned during this new phase in life.

1-Start the day with a smile- I can never remember a time where I was a morning person. I have always enjoyed sleeping in, lazy Sunday mornings, and sleep in general. Having a child definitely changes your sleep patterns and although we have gotten into more of a routine with sleeping multiple hours in a row I still find myself waking up throughout the night (got used to all those late night feedings I suppose). Despite this there is nothing sweeter than waking up and looking over into Emma’s little bed and seeing her smiling face. She may not be happy when I pick her up and she realizes how hungry she is, but regardless she started the day on the right foot and it is a good reminder to me that despite the early hour it may be at the time starting the day with a smile is always a good way to go.

2-Slow down- One thing that feeding a newborn every two hours has taught me is the importance of taking the time to slow down. I constantly get in go mode and try to tackle a hundred different things all at once so actually having to sit down multiple times throughout the day has really sifted my focus to the importance of actually taking a breather throughout the day. Whether I just sit and do nothing, read a book, watch a show, or work on a fun craft or project. It really does help give me a mental break of sorts from whatever I am working on at the time.

3-Naps are important- While we are on the subject of slowing down I am reminded of the importance of taking naps. I am typically not a huge fan of naps. Most of the time in fact they make me feel quite groggy and out of it to the point where I avoid them all together. Sometimes though when exhaustion hits you just have to stop and take advantage of your little ones nap and take one yourself. It is amazing what 30 mins of rest can do to ones outlook on life.

4-The Housework can wait- When Ben and I first got married I vowed I would be the most amazing housewife that kept a clean home and prepared amazing meals. That was easier said than done when we were both working full time jobs, but I was still able to keep a schedule of sorts where I would take care of certain jobs at certain times throughout the week (wash towels on Saturday, wash dishes nightly etc.). With a baby in the picture that has drastically changed my weekly schedule. I can no longer go to the store whenever I want to or prepare detailed recipes for dinner. Although we have settled into some sort of routine things come up throughout the day that may require a bit of reshuffling or restricting to the day. Emma may have a fussy afternoon which means dinner may be delayed (or burned :), the dishes and laundry may pile up, and the floors may not be cleaned as regularly as hoped. Ben has been so gracious during this time of transition. Not only has he gone above and beyond with helping me get things done, but he has also on many occasions watched Emma so I could tackle a project or focus on dinner (without interruptions). He has also been very understanding when coming home to a bit of a chaotic house which happens more nights than others.

5-Messes Happen- On that note let me just say it in another way…messes happen. There are going to be days where the baby has an explosive diaper that involves major clean-up of the changing station. There will be days where they throw up all over the couch and the floor and you end up having to dismantle the entire sofa, take a shower, changing clothes mid-morning (both yours and the babys), and you start the day feeling like you got nothing done. Hang in there! Those days will come. Life is messy (sometimes literally speaking :) and the sooner we can step back and give ourselves grace for mistakes whether big or small the better.

6-Take a walk- We have discovered that just like Daddy Emma likes to get out of the house. She loves going on adventures big or small-whether to the local grocery store or on the subway across town. There have been days where she has been extremely fussy or out of sorts and as soon as I pull out the carrier and take her outside she is perfectly fine. I consider myself to be more of a home body, but there is something about getting out of the house for a bit-even if just for a walk around the block. It is a time to not only get a little exercise, but to get a break and clear your head from what is going on at home.

7-Little things are big deals- I am a ‘to do’ list kind of person. I love making lists and I have joked that my lists have lists. I am constantly writing down notes to myself of all kinds from what to buy at the store to little projects I need to tackle around the apartment. When you have a baby a ‘to do’ list many days gets thrown out the door. Once a routine is put in place you began to start feeling a bit more normal, but there are still days where you end up strapping your baby in the carrier to get chores done around the house, you don’t make it to the store because it would be too much trouble to go out in the pouring down rain…..there are days when taking a shower is a huge victory and you feel like super women if you are able to not only bathe, but put a hot meal on the table. If you send an e-mail or fold a pile of laundry you feel like you should receive an award or have a standing ovation as you walk down the road. Little things really do become big deals. You appreciate things like never before. You began to savor a cup of tea when you have those few moments, you enjoy silence when it happens as you know it won’t be for long, you appreciate each page of a book that you are able to read, and watching a show without screaming in the background is an amazing feat.

8-You can’t do it alone- For as long as I can remember I have heard the phrase it takes a village to raise a child. After having one of my own I totally understand what they were trying to say. It is so important to have the support of your family and friends on this journey. We need people to share with, to bounce ideas back and forth with, to hold our child when we can’t seem to calm them down, to pray for us, to give us words of advice and affirmation after a long day at home…. relationships are important. They are what get us through the tough times and lift our spirits when we need a bit of encouragement.

Emmanuel-God With Us

Written on February 25, 2015

You may be wondering why I have titled my blog ‘Emmanuel’. This is a reference to God one many times hears around the holiday season which as we approach the end of February has definitely past. I have wanted to sit down over the past few weeks to share the story of Emma’s birth and now that we are home and are for the most part settled I have a bit of time to do just that.

You see Emma’s arrival was not exactly how I imagined giving birth to my first born would be like. I pictured something similar to a scene out of Father of the Bride II where the daughter walks in her parent’s room, tells them it is time, and they get in their car and go to the hospital down the street. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be moving to another city away from community and all things familiar a month before Emma arrived (due to travel restrictions etc.)

How does one prepare for being away from home for so long? How do you know what to bring and how to pack? It’s not like you can have your husband get in the car and drive home if you forgot something. Many times as I prepared to leave (as it was the Christmas season :), I was reminded time and time again of the story of Christ's birth. When I found myself getting overwhelmed with the logistics of travel and packing I was reminded how Mary traveled very late in her pregnancy on a donkey- going by train to another city was nothing compared to this. I was reminded of how blessed I was to have a clean and safe place to deliver little Emma- rather than a stable surrounded by animals.

The name ‘Emmanuel’ means ‘God with Us’. This name came into my mind during our stay in Beijing. The room I was staying in had a cloth on the nightstand. One night I had a cup of water sitting on the nightstand and when I reached over to get it I noticed something as I had covered part of the word up with my cup. All that I saw was ‘Emma’ …… Emma the name of our daughter. I then proceeded to pick up my glass to see the rest of the word ‘Emmanuel’. It was a perfect reminder to me that despite being in another city, being separated from Ben for a period of time, the fear of the unknown in regards to delivery…. He was going to be with me each step of the way. He had already provided safe travels to Beijing (including a separate lounge area where we were able to transport all of our luggage to the train in an elevator) as well as made a way for my Mom to come over during my time away from home.

Saturday, January 24th

This day was a day I had been looking forward to as it was the day that Ben would return to Beijing (as he had to return to Wuhan for a couple of weeks to work). Early that morning before the sun had even made its appearance I felt some strong and intense pains in my abdomen and lower back. As they continued and began to intensify I began to think that maybe this was it…. the start of labor. So I went and told my Mom, but shortly after the pains stopped and that was that.

Wednesday, January 28th

On this night we ate dinner with a couple that was living in China in the same complex we were staying in. They were from Peachtree City which is a town super close to where I grew up. I am always amazed at the people you run in to on the other side of the world.

Thursday, January 29th

The pains returned in the early morning hours and were coming more frequently (although still not close enough to go to the hospital). As we were quite a distance away from the hospital (that could vary with traffic and the time of day) we decided to pack up our stuff and spend the day in the hospital area. That way if I did continue to progress we would be close. As the contractions were continuing it was decided that we would check in to a hotel for the evening. We ate dinner at Peter’s Tex Mex, stopped by the grocery store (in search of chocolate milk- a random craving I was having… we ended up going to Starbucks and purchased an iced hot chocolate- it was as close as we could get). It was a long night and I didn’t get much sleep as the pains were getting more intense and closer together.

Friday, January 30th

After calling the hospital we packed up and headed out. There I was checked to determine if I was indeed in labor. Contractions were steady and at this point I was only dilated at a 1. They did decide to go ahead and admit me so we made our way to a hospital room and got settled in. As the day progressed the pains got more and more intense, but I wasn’t dilating quickly. You may laugh, but one of my fears in giving birth was where and when my water would break. With all the traveling about I was envisioning being in a taxi or on a bus so I was very surprised that my water broke on the toilet- I couldn’t believe it! Ben went out at one point and returned with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a vanilla frapaccino. He was such a trooper through the whole process and I was blessed to have him by my side during this whole process.

Late afternoon I was only around 3 or 4 cm dilated. I had an amazing group of midwives during this time that helped with pain management. Two gave me back massages during contractions, one set me up in a hot bath, and I pretty much spent the evening sitting on an exercise ball- it actually helped with the pain surprisingly. At one point Ben turned on Anne of Green Gables for a bit of a diversion- let’s just say I wasn’t watching the movie, but it was nice to have it on in the background :)

My Dad arrived late evening, but still no sign of Emma arriving any time soon. After more than one day of having contractions and little sleep I was exhausted. They began to talk to me about the use of an epidural… which I wasn’t opposed to, but was hoping to not have to use. But as we approached the early morning hours of January 31st I knew I couldn’t go on much longer on my own.

Saturday, January 31st

It was decided that I would get an epidural so that I could get some rest for delivery. I was a bit nervous about getting one with my crooked spine and the fact that they were trying to insert it during contractions – what if I moved?. I then slept for a couple of hours. When I woke up I had to go to the bathroom, but one of my legs was completely numb like it was asleep. I was quite determined to try to get up and the midwife agreed to let me try, but I quickly discovered that there was no way I would make it. I was checked again and at this point I was around an 8…. not quite there yet so I went back to sleep. At 7:30 that morning the midwife returned for another check. I was now at a 10 so she then proceeded to tell me to eat breakfast and that we would start pushing at 8:00. We quickly contacted my parents who were staying at a hotel nearby and I attempted to eat- which wasn’t much. Was this really about to happen?

The epidural had worn out a bit and I started to feel some of the contractions. So before getting started they made an adjustment on the dosage- which was great for the pain, but now I couldn’t feel either one of my legs. My contractions were steady, but weren’t close enough to get things going so it was decided that I needed to get some pitocin in my system to get things moving faster. They waited a bit to let the medicine to kick in and I was able to get a bit more rest before trying to deliver again.

Side note: The doctor that I had been seeing throughout my pregnancy was on call so she was able to be in and out of the room throughout the morning- God’s timing for sure.

As we approached the noon hour the room began to fill up with people scurrying about and prepping the room for Emma’s arrival. Pushing with two legs that are completely numb is quite hilarious. I needed help from Ben and one of the midwives during labor to hold my legs up. We started pushing around 8 (with a break in between for pitocin to kick in) and shortly after 12 Emma had arrived. She came out and they put her on my chest- there she was. My first thought was ‘How did that just come out of me?’, followed by ‘Is this really happening?’. My Mom walked around took pictures and made sure foot prints were added to Emma’s baby book and before I knew it Emma (now all cleaned up) returned to my side. She was a bit fussy so I started talking to her. She calmed down, was looking right at me, and wrapped her little fingers around mine… I was immediately smitten.

Side note: It was lunchtime and they almost wheeled in a cart of spaghetti. Luckily my Dad stopped them. Later that day Ben brought me a delicious chocolate éclair from the little bakery downstairs- perfect!

So why do I share all of this… all these random details that you may or may not want to know? You see each step of the way, in the midst of uncertainty, change… you name it… Emmanuel was there by our side. Emma came not on our time table, but exactly when God wanted her to come. She came when both Ben and my Dad were in town, when my doctor was on call, when a group of amazing midwives were working… on and on I could go… He was faithfully taking care of all of the details- both big and small throughout our time in Beijing. He was with us each step of the way. It is my prayer that our sweet Emma that is part of the name Emmanuel will come to know our Heavenly Father one day and that she too will know that He is with her each step of the way :).

Emma Ruth

Growing up I had a list- a list of names that I wanted to name my children one day. I was thinking 5 was a good number, a mix of boys and girls. My names were highly flowery in nature- more from an earlier generation and not necessarily names that were popular at the time. Some were names that came from books that had inspired me through the years. For example I was determined to have a little girl with the middle name of Anne- Anne with an ‘e’ that is just so I could make a connection to the beloved classic- Anne of Green Gables.

So when it came time for Ben and I to talk through baby names I have to confess that had more than one option to consider. In my heart of hearts from the beginning of our pregnancy our baby was a girl so I naturally migrated towards girl names. One name that came up in our discussion was Emma. You see while Ben and I were dating I had a day dream of sorts that included a little girl named Emma- wasn’t sure why at the time so I wrote it down and put it on the back burner for the time being (if I remember correctly this was during our annual insurance meeting- something about maternity packages got my brain to start dreaming :).

Emma- why did this name keep coming up? The more we talked about this name the more I liked it and as soon as the gender was confirmed I started calling our little one Emma. Now for a middle name… my first thought was Emma Leigh. I thought it would be fun to reclaim my old middle name somehow, but when you said the two names together it sounded a bit funny- more like Emily than two separate names. Towards the end of our summer home the name Ruth came to my mind, but I didn’t vocalize it. On a drive to pick up dinner Ben threw out the name Ruth. I couldn’t believe it- we had both separately thought of the same name. Perhaps this was the one? But still we decided to play around with options a bit. After all our ultrasound that said girl was quite early. What if we were having a boy?

So we put the naming of our child aside until we were able to 100% confirm that we were indeed having a daughter. Then we felt like we could move forward with officially naming our little girl. As I started thinking through the significance of these names- Emma and Ruth several things came to mind.

Emma…

Emma was the name of Ben’s great-grandmother. Her engagement diamond is part of my engagement ring. She was a teacher and helped support her granddaughter through college (Ben’s Mom). Since Ben and I have been together I have heard many a story of this women and her faith.

Ruth…

During high school and college a book that I turned to many times was ‘Lady in Waiting’. It was a book that used the story of Ruth to share the importance of God’s timing and provision. In China I actually found copies of this book in Chinese and was able to share it with my Chinese friends. On another note, after our miscarriage the fall of 2013 Ben and I missed several Sunday mornings at fellowship. During that time we both went through an online study of Ruth. It was a healing time for myself as we worked through all that had taken place in only a few months after being married. The story of Ruth for as long as I can remember has held a special place in my life.

Our daughter will not carry the name of the famous heroine in Anne of Green Gables, nor will she carry one of the antique names that I penned as a young girl, but her name will hold special meaning to us both as her name didn’t come over night, but rather through the years.

Moving On

Written on: May 12, 2014

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a teacher. From the time I was young I was creating crafts, projects, and even tests for my sister as well as my friends to complete under my tutelage. When I went to college there was no question what I would major in- teaching of course. It was my dream, my passion… I lived and breathed children’s literature, would lie awake at night laying out plans for my future classroom, and absolutely loved shopping and finding items for my classroom whether that be at a back to school sale at Target or visiting a local teacher supply store. In some ways I think it was in my blood. It has been something I have wanted to do since I was in the third grade.

You see I had an amazing 3rd grade teacher. A teacher that believed in me, that supported me, and even cried with me (third grade was the year that I got glasses- it was a bit rough to say the least). I knew after leaving her class I wanted to be her. I wanted to inspire and shape a group of children through education. So despite the fact that I was only 9 years old- I knew this was what I was meant to do.

I am currently wrapping up my tenth year of teaching. Add a college and Master’s degree to the mix it and has been quite the adventure. Three years of third grade teaching at the same school I did my student teaching at followed by seven years in China- a place that I have come to call home. Has it always been easy? Have I always loved it? No, there have been days I have been so exhausted, so frustrated… ready to give in, but in the back of my mind I always knew this was what I was meant to do. Two years of my teaching career in China I served as both the 2nd grade teacher and elementary principal. It was a lot and most days I felt like I was in way over my head. It was absolutely tiring and during this time I acquired hives that have yet to go away. My health was not the best, but despite this I knew the Father had called me to both of these jobs and I was content.

At the end of last school year I was given the chose to continue teaching or to serve as a full time administrator. Although there were things that I enjoyed about each of my jobs I knew I couldn’t give up teaching (my first love :). So after a two day retreat it was decided that I would no longer be principal, but would focus on teaching. This was an extremely difficult decision to make, but I knew in my heart of hearts that this is what I needed to do.

As this school year went on I began to feel a tug on my heart that this would be my last year of teaching and that after ten years it was time to take a break. Yes, I knew a break would be good for my health, but to be honest I wasn’t exactly sure why God was leading me in this direction. So after talking to my bosses we began to move forward with the plan of me not teaching the following year.

Just like in some ways I felt like I had lost my identify when I was married once again I feel like I am losing my identify as I step done from all that is familiar in life. I no longer need to buy items for my students in the summer, I don’t need to create supply lists or schedules…. ultimately my role will change in the community. Although I am not 100% sure what next year will look like I am looking forward to seeing what opportunities I have as I move into more of a part time role.

Ultimately I would love to start a family, to spend more time with the families in our community, and to help new staff get settled. I have no idea what the future holds, but I know who holds the future. Am I stepping out in faith? That I am, but I am confident that the same Heavenly Father that has been walking by my side throughout my life, who put a desire to teach on my heart, will also be working and molding me into exactly the person He needs me to be.

May I be faithful to follow Him and to be open to new possibilities in the future :).

New Chapter

Written on January 13, 2014
Edited on April 20, 2014

For 6 and ½ years I have taught in the same school building. I have moved multiple times (5 if I counted correctly). Some rooms have been nice and spacious (especially when you only have 6 students) while others have been tight (like that time I was in a half classroom with 9 students). There were definitely moments of frustration- when the power went out, when the heat just didn’t seem to work, when technology broke down, when there were unexpected visits and people crowded into the back of your classroom to observe ‘the foreign teacher’…. and on and on I could go. Despite all of these things these aren’t the things that stand out in my mind. Don’t get me wrong I love our new school building and after many years of praying and planning it has been a huge blessing to be able to move into our new space. At the same time it is a bit bittersweet. The building we were in for so many years has so many sweet memories.
Here are just a few:

1-International Days we hosted outside- one of my first introductions to the International community we live in
2-Tri-school events where students from a local Chinese and French school crammed into our classrooms to hear the Christmas story and to complete crafts and activities.
3-Weekend practices for a staff number in the talent show- still can’t believe I did this!
4-Open Houses where families from around the world entered our classrooms and interacted with other families.
5-Mother’s Day teas in my classroom where Moms and their children enjoyed each other’s company.
6-Multiplication Musicals, class skits, and presentations where staff, parents and students visited our classroom.
7-Participating as a Science Fair judge two years in a row- checking out student projects with my students.
8-Having Ben visit my classroom to read stories, present about Texas, check out projects, and interact with my students.
9-Serving as our school’s elementary principal for two years- having an office space, attending meetings, and being able to be a voice for the elementary team.
10-Dress-up days for unit parties- 13 Colonies and Ancient Egypt as well as school-wide school spirit days.
11-Attending weekly assemblies and discussions that have stemmed from what was shared.
12-Literature Nights run by me and my roomie
13-Two accreditation visits- both completely different
14-Baby and wedding showers

And on and on I could go…now on to a new chapter… what memories do we have in store next?

Childlike Faith

Written on: April 2nd (in route from Beijing to Wuhan)

We were all a child once. We knew no limits, we dreamed big, our biggest worry was the monster under our bed or if our best friend would share their markers with us during art class. There was an innocence… a gullibility at times… we trusted, we loved unconditionally and we looked at life through rose tinted glasses- life was an amazing adventure in which even the smallest victories were looked upon as huge successes…but somewhere a transition happened. We began to see life for what it was really worth. We began to notice heart break, suffering…we learned about sickness, disease, sickness, addictions…the chaos of sin. We began to find it hard to trust others and found it easier to live inward rather than outwardly accepting those around us. Is this normal and why does this happen?

Over Spring Break Ben and I were in Beijing for a few days. During our stay we visited the local Zoo. One particular exhibit that stood out to me was the polar bear house. A group of Chinese children in matching green athletic gear were running from window to window in search of the polar bear. Words cannot begin to describe their excitement as they shouted to their friends about the polar bears whereabouts. When they finally saw him they quickly all ran to the windows trying to get the best view. We didn’t exactly share in the student’s excitement. All we noticed was how the habitat didn’t seem suitable for the polar bear and that he was clearly unhappy. So why the difference in our reactions?

I believe that as adults we quickly lose focus. We spend so much time worrying about our circumstances (our surroundings-our habitat so to speak) that we lose sight of the one who is in charge. Rather than focusing on the here and now (the excitement of being at the Zoo for example) we spend our time making ‘to do’ lists in our head, pondering and worrying over everything under the sun. This means many times we miss out on the little blessings that the Father puts before us. For the students we saw at the Zoo they weren’t focused on the crowds, the hot weather, or the bugs…they were completely content to watch the animals with their friends.

How often do we forget to slow down- to stop and smell the roses so to speak? Have we as adults become so consumed with the negative of life that we have lost our childlike faith and trust? So as I return to the chaos of life my hope and prayer is that I will remember my trip to the Zoo and the lessons that were brought to the forefront from a group of excited little children. For He said…. “Let the little children come unto me…”

Control and Change

Written on February 28, 2014

Have you ever had a timeline? A schedule of when you thought certain things should happen? Well I feel like I have had both of these running in my mind my whole life. When would I go to China? When would I get married? When would I have kids? In my mind I had everything figured out, but I had left something out of the picture- something very important.

I had left God out of all my ‘planning’ and ‘scheduling’. I was doing everything backwards. After all He knew me inside and out, He knew my past, present, and future. Not only that He knows my fears and dreams and ultimately what is best for me. Why haven’t I put Him first before planning my whole life out? Why do I not trust Him and relinquish control of all the thoughts I have swirling around in my head?

Two words- control and change…

I want to be in control of what happens in my life- so I plan, I organize -not always a bad thing, but at the same time it is easy to go overboard in this area. I have been told by multiple people on a variety of occasions that I just need to relax; to chill, not always easy to do with a never ending list running in my head.

Change- although since living in China I have found myself a bit more flexible than my old self I still find it extremely difficult to accept and embrace change- especially when there isn’t time to process through change that is taking place. For example in the past year I have moved to a new apartment, have a new roommate- my husband, moved to a new school building, had a new teaching intern, stepped down as elementary principal- just to name a few. Although many of these changes are good in and of themselves they still come with their share of challenges as well as periods of transition.

So I cling tightly to what I can grab on to and at times wade through the chaos of daily life.

I don’t think I will ever be able to fully step away from my ‘planning’ nature- in many ways this is what makes me who I am- who doesn’t enjoy a well- planned out event?

At the same time I would like to get past the point where I can truly say ‘Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done’ and be okay with sitting back and letting God do His thing. After all can’t I trust Him?

Looking back at my life there were so many things I had planned out in my head that didn’t pan out how I thought they should. Does this mean He didn’t care or that what I wanted was thrown to the wayside? No, I still made it to China, I still got married… just not on my time table… does this mean that He will always give us the things on our timeline- not necessarily, but in the end I know in my heart of hearts we serve a God who loves us. He knows exactly what we need and when we need it. He doesn’t make mistakes, there are no accidents. Many times I think He is just waiting for us to surrender control.

What is Love?

As February has been given the title ‘the month of love’ it seems that the topic of love and all that it encompasses seems to be everywhere- from commercials and TV shows, to ads and decorations. As Valentine’s Day drew near I started processing through the concept of love in a whole new light. Being married changes your perspective on certain things and I found myself redefining my understanding of love due to changes that had taken place in my own life.

The two Valentines celebrations that Ben and I shared before we were married were with others- we enjoyed conversation and Cheerwine over dinner. One year we dressed up and the next we stayed closer to home and went the more casual route. Regardless each one was special in its own way. This year was a bit unique in that Valentine’s Day was on a Friday night of a school week (last year Valentine’s Day fell during Chinese New Year break) and it was also the same day as the 100th Day of school along with a Chinese holiday- the annual Lantern festival. This meant that my time with my students on this day was going to be a bit crazy. I love holidays and enjoy celebrating them with my students, but trying to smush two in to one day is madness. I was up super late the night before putting treats together for my students and checking off a long ‘to do’ list to make sure I had everything I needed for the big day. Ben knew that the week was going to be crazy so he gave me his gifts on Wednesday and Thursday. It was great getting them early as I was able to enjoy them more than I probably would have in the chaos of Friday.

As of Friday afternoon we still didn’t have a plan for the evening and it wasn’t until we were walking out the door that a plan was made- eat somewhere close to home and then watch a movie. I was content with this choice- after all we were both exhausted from the week and the thought of getting all dressed up to go across town didn’t seem too exciting. That evening we were able to continue our tradition of drinking Cheerwine and shared stories of people that had meant a lot to us over the past year (both traditions we started our first V-day together :)

Despite my contentment at the time I couldn’t help fighting off feelings of sadness. We didn’t do anything exciting for Valentine’s Day- nothing like we had in the past. Sitting at dinner we barely spoke because we were too tired to process aloud- how boring were we I thought to myself.

It wasn’t until I stepped back from it all that I began to see how our Valentine’s Day wasn’t boring at all. We were able to enjoy cinnamon rolls (shaped into hearts) for breakfast, we were able to exchange treats along the way and actually saw each other for a few minutes during the day (which rarely happens), we were able to sit side by side and enjoy a Western meal together for dinner, we were able to share a Cheerwine (brought back from our travels last summer) and share together about people who had been a huge encouragement over the past year, we were able to watch a Chick flick (I at one point fell asleep, but woke up to Ben laughing hysterically at something that was taking place in the movie), and on and on I could go…

You see I think that Hollywood, the commercials, media in general makes you think that to have a successful Valentine’s Day you need to get all decked up, go the most expensive restaurant, exchange large and crazy gifts (don’t get me wrong… I don’t think these things are necessarily bad- we have enjoyed doing some of these ourselves in the past :), but I think what they forget to share is that love is more than just this day called Valentine’s Day. Love is sticking by a person when life gets hard, it is your husband helping clean the house when you are tired, it is going to the store to pick up groceries so the other person doesn’t have to, it is making sacrifices for the other person and putting them before yourself.

I have a lot to learn in the department of love. Reflecting through this day it was good to reminded that love does not come naturally to us folks here on earth. We need the daily help of our Heavenly Father to make it happen.

So for today- I am content… I am beyond blessed to have this man of God beside me and if all we do today is sit side by side to eat dinner and watch a cheesy movie then I can’t complain. Life is good…

Great is Thy Faithfulness (A Wedding Reflection)

When asked what we were looking forward to over the Christmas holiday, Ben’s response was ‘Time’. With all that has taken place in our lives over the past few months there hasn’t been much time to slow down and simply think and process through all that has taken place. For many weeks I have been working on a photo project of our wedding pictures. Hours were spent editing and making things look just right as they were uploaded to an online photo scrapbook. Once finished it was an easy way to share pictures at a China side reception that we had at our home. How fun to be able to share this day with both old and new staff. In our Christmas package from home we received our wedding video. Other than a short wedding trailer we had yet to see it so it was fun to pull it out on Christmas Day and be able to revisit our wedding day. I am so glad that this day was captured through video and photography. There were several things we didn’t even notice or probably would not have even remembered if they had not been documented in this way.

Recently I have been asked by a couple of friends for advice in regards to planning a wedding- what worked, what do you wish you had done differently, what was your favorite part etc. This combined with wedding projects online, watching our video, and sharing with friends has been good for me. It has given me time to truly reflect and think back on that day.

I was one of those girls that dreamed of what my wedding day would be like for as long as I can remember. I read books, watched movies and TV shows (TLC The Wedding Story anyone?), and spent hours looking at websites, browsing magazines, and helping out at weddings in a variety of ways- from cutting cakes, singing songs, serving as a bridesmaid, or just lending a hand in the planning stage. I was and still am a huge fan of weddings. I had in my mind what I thought my wedding day would be like. For the longest time I envisioned a wedding similar to the one in ‘Father of the Bride’…. pink, tulle, classical music, and lots of flowers. Tastes change (for which I am sure Ben is grateful:) and my color scheme went from pink to pink and green, from green and blue to blue and yellow.

When asked what were your favorite moments or what is something you are glad you did…

I think back to the drive to the church- just me and my Dad. I think of the time I had once we arrived to sit in the quiet sanctuary and the few minutes to play the piano (Great is Thy Faithfulness). I think about being able to see the decorations before the guests arrived, of eating Chick-fil-A with the girls and pulling out the leftover cheesecake from the night before. I think of seeing all the little details fall into place thanks to the hard work of my Mom. I will never forget putting my dress on before taking pictures and having my Mom put her wedding pearls around my neck. I will never forget walking around Brooks, to take pictures- the very city where I went to elementary school and was inspired to teach. I will always remember the time of prayer with Ben (with a door in between us so we weren’t able to see each other beforehand :) and being able to hear his voice and hold his hand one last time before walking down the aisle. I will never forget walking up to the sanctuary doors and hearing beautiful music being played, of being able to see last minute guests arrive, and realizing as we got closer that this was really about to happen. I will never forget walking down the aisle and seeing a room full of family and friends with my best friend at the end waiting for me. Verses shared, the Lord’s Supper, Vows and rings exchanged, our first kiss, and the announcement that we were now man and wife.

Looking back when I am asked if there is anything I would change… perhaps. I could respond by saying I would have eaten more cake or danced more, but in the end when it is all said and done it isn’t about that day. That day is simply a launching pad for a future with someone that God has called you to be with. I am still new at this thing called ‘marriage’. Ben and I have almost been married for 6 months now. Despite the ups and downs, the times of uncertainty we promised on our wedding day that we would be by each other in the laughter and the tears. We have indeed had our share of both, but I have seen His hand of faithfulness time and time again in our lives. He didn’t bring us together and then leave us to our own devices, rather He is with us each step of the way…leading, directing, and challenging us as we learn how to take things one day at a time. Give us this day our daily bread….

Soccer and Healing

Growing up I was not in to sports. I was more the musical, like to read books, and sit on the side lines kind of kid. I would go to football games with friends as a social activity, but I didn’t always understand what was happening nor was I one to yell or cheer loudly. I sat quietly by, took pictures, and talked with those around me. When I came to China there were opportunities to coach various sports team- either middle school or high school students. I thought it would be a neat way to get to know students, but didn’t really feel that I had what it took to do so. So I found ways for myself and my students to support the coaches and the team whether through notes or hanging banners in the hallways and was content to continue in this way.

One of the first times that Ben and I were apart was when he was coaching a middle school soccer team. As this year’s season drew close the idea of the two of us coaching together came into a discussion. From the beginning I knew that I would need to rely on Ben for the coaching part- drills etc. and that I would be more of a moral support type of person. I enjoyed playing soccer, but my last memories of playing soccer involved tearing ligaments in my ankle- not so fun :(. As sign-ups began we quickly discovered that we weren’t going to have enough to start the season so Ben started practicing with the boys soccer team with the idea that if enough girls signed up then perhaps we could start a team together.

Two weeks into the season we had exactly enough girls for a team- 5 from our school and 2 from a local French school. Our first practice was indoors due to the rain. I tried to complete the activities alongside the girls, but as I was still recovering from a miscarriage I held back a bit. We took a few minutes to share with the girls our goals for the season- teamwork, encouragement, and try your best.

Practices continued twice a week from this point on. I could see myself at this age so many times in these girls- many were afraid of the ball, many were learning the game for the first time, and many were learning how to build confidence in themselves. As the soccer tournament drew near we learned that we would gain additional players in order to have subs (with our current numbers the girls wouldn’t be able to take breaks during games). We weren’t sure what this would look like, but we continued having drills, ran games with the boys soccer team, and even played a high school team that was training to be in the Olympics (side note- this team was amazing and really helped our girls learn not only strategies on how to play, but also encouraged them to step it up a notch).

The tournament weekend arrived. I said goodbye to my students and we headed to Qingdao. It was so nice to be with Ben this go round rather than being apart. We had our first meeting together, passed out goody bags, and met our additional players. Although a bit awkward at first the girls truly blended well together. We played a total of three games our first day- the first we won, the second we tied, and the third we won. I was so proud of how they had come together and how hard they were fighting. They had such great attitudes despite the fact that it was cold and at times raining. At one point I surprised myself when I jumped in the air when one of the girls scored a goal.

In between games we had the chance to take the girls to the beach. They all quickly formed a circle and started a game with one of the soccer balls we had on hand. Ben was watching all of their stuff and I found myself drawn to the water. Despite that fact that I wasn’t wearing the proper shoes and the fact that the tide was coming in I was quite determined to find a way to make it to the water. So I took a break from the group and made my way to the crashing waves. There were people walking around, fishing, and taking pictures, but I didn’t hear them. I only heard the waves and whistle of the air. As I breathed in the salty air and saw the beautiful view of mountains and water my heart felt this overwhelming sense of peace. Here I was in Qingdao China with my husband standing by the ocean with a group of amazing, fun-loving girls. I was here not as a spectator, but as coach. Never in my wildest dreams would I have dreamed this one up.

I knew I couldn’t stay long, but as I took one last look at the view around me in my heart I heard the Father speak to me ‘I love you my child’. It was at that moment that I knew that despite all that had gone on in my life over the past few months the Father had not left me. He planned this moment by the ocean to not only hear these words, but to begin the inner healing that must come after a time of loss. As I made my way back to my husband and the girls I couldn’t help but smile. Although it hadn’t felt like it at times He had been with me each step of the way. He took a non-athletic girl from Georgia and put the idea of coaching into her head. Despite a late start that idea turned to a reality. To top it off He provided a quiet moment- a moment of inner healing. Who knew that coaching soccer could lead to a moment such as this :)

The In Between Phase

Written on October 21, 2013

For as long as I can remember my name as a teacher was Miss Ivey. It was what I was used to hearing. I remember joking with my students at times that I was going to get married just so I could hear a new name (if you teach you know what I mean :). … and that’s exactly what happened.

To start off let me say that I love beginning married. Yes there has been an adjustment of figuring out life together, but how sweet it has been to be able to share life with each other on a daily basis- no saying goodbye. At the same time I have found myself struggling to find my role, to find out where I fit and belong. I am no longer single so I don’t feel that I fit with the singles and although I am married many of those that are married around me have kids. Although it is my heart’s desire to be a Mom sometime I can’t relate to what it is like to have kids in the home or to having your life revolve around the schedule of a baby or toddler.

I find myself in a tug of war of sorts. Where do I fit? Where do I belong? I am no longer Miss Ivey. I am now Mrs. Longenecker. I am in an in between phase of sorts that doesn’t exactly make sense at the moment. I find myself trying to come up with a plan for how to get out of this phase, this funk that I have seemed to have slipped into. As I ponder this even now I wonder… are these questions I should be asking?

I am reminded of Esther who was given a role for ‘such a time as this’. She wasn’t fighting the place or role that God had given her; rather she was embracing her role. She was doing everything in her power to use her role to help those around her. Why am I fighting? Why can’t I just embrace the role and the place that I am in currently? I seem to remember this was a challenge presented by Paul in 1 Corinthians 7- “…each one, should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him” (verse 17) and “Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him” (verse 20).

For the time being God has called me to a teacher, to be married…. nothing more and nothing less. May I stop fighting and embrace where He has placed me. May I be willing to set aside my thoughts on what I should be doing or what I should be and be exactly what He has called me to be for the time being.

Marriage vs. Teaching

We just returned from our annual teaching conference in Beijing. There we sat in multiple sessions about teaching strategies, ideas for improvement, and reminders of what we should be doing in our classroom. One presenter shared the idea that nothing she was sharing was new and was probably all information that we had learned in our under grad programs. The purpose of sharing the information now was that we now had context to go with the information we were hearing.
I started thinking about this idea of learning information before having context to work with. My mind moved beyond teaching to marriage. Before Ben and I were married we met with different couples for counseling, received direction from the pastor that married us, had multiple discussions using guided questions, and read book after book of advice and suggestions on what would make our marriage last. I do believe that all the preparation we went through was not only helpful, but beneficial. At the same time no matter how many ways you prepare for marriage there is nothing like having context to go with all the preparation that got you there in the first place.

Now I will say right off the bat that having only been married for three months I am by no means an expert at marriage. At the same time I will say there is something about taking all that information that you have been cramming in our head for some many months and actually having the context to apply it to. Is it easy? No, it requires lots of communication (hmm…. It seems like this was one of the top words of advice from friends… communicate, communicate, communicate :).

There is a huge learning curve as you learn how the day in and day out should work. As you try to determine who is responsible for which chores. As you learn what it is like to share space while at the same time giving each other space. In many ways I found myself going into marriage with huge expectations on myself. I wanted to be the 1950s housewife that kept a perfect home, who prepared gourmet meals for her husband every night, and somehow was able to look put together in the process. But how was that possible with both of us working full time jobs as well as being involved in afterschool activities?

I am so grateful to be married to a man that doesn’t have these expectations of me and who has multiple times over come beside me to help around the house from mopping to going grocery shopping. His patience has helped this process of transition …..of figuring out life together so much easier.

Now if only I could find ways to give myself grace in this area….. I have a feeling this is going to be a daily dying to self; a daily laying my day at His feet. I know I will need all the help I can get. May the verses from Psalms 139 be my heart’s desire.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-24)

Loss Before Gain

Written on: September 23, 2013

For about a month after returning to China I just felt off, completely wiped out and exhausted. I found myself falling asleep around 6 or 7 ever evening. I had a thought cross my mind as I considered how I was feeling that it seemed like I was pregnant, but that was impossible… right?

I decided in the end to just tack it up to a crazy time of the year as I adjusted to not only my role as a wife, but also to my transition to teaching full time once again.

On August 31st something wasn’t right. I was in quite a bit of pain and began to experience symptoms that didn’t make sense. It was decided that we needed to get things checked out so we went to an International clinic. There after sharing, running some tests and having an exam it was discovered that it appeared that we had indeed been pregnant, but I had had a miscarriage.

My mind was in a state of shock and I didn’t even know what to think or how to feel. On our way home I lost it. I wanted to be home- not China- but home. I wanted to be with my family, to have a hug from my Dad, and hear my Mom say everything was going to be okay. Instead we were hearing this news only hours before Ben would be leaving for Fall Camp. We went home…. we shared with a few close friends… and cried.

Ben left the next morning and I felt like my world had ended. I had to stay strong… after all I had two days of teaching. Despite the fact that I had planned activities and events on nights that Ben was out of town I ended up just getting through the day and then going home to ‘rest’ or at least try to ‘rest’. I found myself wanting to do everything possible to not process. I didn’t want to process alone so I shoved all emotions inside for the three days Ben was gone. I plowed ahead filling my days with laundry, cleaning, and organizing…. anything to get my mind off the pain I was filling inside. As I cleaned I came across some items I had collected over the years for the day when I had a child… I quickly put them away trying not to think about what had taken place.

Ben returned and as we began to process together I began to think through the past month… the times I had been sick and had taken medicine, the times I had pushed myself through the exhaustion because I had so many things to get done…it was then that the lies began to pour in. As I began to research miscarriage I began to hear voices in my head that said ‘This was your fault, you killed your child, if only you had been more careful, you thought you were pregnant… why didn’t you listen to your body?’ and on and on they came.

I decided that retreat was the only way to get through this. I avoided groups… didn’t go to fellowship for multiple weeks, debated when and how to share with people, and despite all the efforts I made to read and pray…. I hit rock bottom and began to go through the motions of day in and day in life.

It didn’t help that the symptoms one would typically have with a pregnancy still lingered. My emotions were all over the place and even the littlest thing could make my start to cry. Being a teacher and being around kids all day was not easy and it made me begin to wonder what our child would have been like if nothing had gone wrong… Was it a boy or a girl? What would we have named them? How would we have decorated their nursery?
As I was in the process of writing this entry I was reminded of the song- ‘He Knows My Name’. The lyrics are:

I have a Maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in his hands

I have a Father
He calls me His own
He'll never leave me
No matter where I go

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And He hears me when I call

So as I process through all that has taken place and as it becomes a struggle at times to even get through the day, to be around people, or to even process through the thoughts swirling around in my head I can be confident that He who began a good work is faithful to complete it. He has a plan and a purpose for everything He allows us to go through. He hears us, He sees us, and desires to call us to Himself.

I am so grateful for a Father that provides exactly what we need at just the right time. We are not forsaken, He is with us each step of the way.

Coffee with God

As I write this Ben is at school preparing a goat brain for tomorrow’s dissection. Although I stopped by for a quick picture my stomach couldn’t handle the smell nor could my ears handle the noise as he sawed through the goat’s skull. So after wrapping up a few lose ends in my classroom I made my way to Starbucks for a time of reading and processing through the day (or past few days for that matter). As I sat down at my seat with a cake and coffee in hand I looked up to see a chair empty in front of me. The first thing that came to my mind was ‘Coffee with God’. This title stuck in my head and I began to ponder those few words. Coffee…hmm… although I didn’t mind the smell growing up I never appreciated the taste until Ben and I started dating (he introduced me to vanilla lattes :). I thought back to the many times I sat with a coffee in hand on a date nights with Ben. We discussed dreams, answered each other’s questions, and shared for hours as if we had all the time in the world. I also think back to the many shopping trips or adventures to get a haircut that led to stopping in for a coffee. Over a cup of coffee conversation flowed or a few minutes to rest and read took place. Regardless so many memories have revolved around sitting and enjoying coffee.

So for today I visit this idea of ‘Coffee with God’. What would that look like or rather is it just a frame of mind- taking the time to slow down enough to enjoy something savory- whether that be a cup of coffee or truth from His Word. In a recent blog post I mentioned the idea of being still. This is not always something I want to do and so often it is easy to just plug along and get the many ‘to do’s off ones list. But as I write this and I consider enjoying a cup of coffee and a slice of chocolate cake I have to smile and think that just for this moment of time I can enjoy a time of solace, a time where no one demands my time, no problems have to be figured out for tomorrow….rather I can sit with my Maker and enjoy an ice cold vanilla latte. How truly sweet to be reminded that whether we are sitting in a coffee shop or are walking through town He is with us. No matter where we are we can take the time to enjoy a cup of coffee (whether in the figurative or literal sense of the word :).

'Be Still'...

‘Be still’ is not exactly part of my vocabulary. My mind is constantly running in a million different directions to the point where when I am still I probably have a ‘to do’ list playing out in my mind- What will we eat for dinner? What else do I need to prepare for tomorrow’s lesson? Should I tackle the laundry tonight or continue organizing? and on and on I can go.

This weekend I had a bit of a wake-up call. After only two days of school I got sick. Not a little cold that makes you sneeze and a bit tired, but rather completely knocked out headache, fever, achiness… the works. I was quite frustrated with myself. It was not good timing in my mind. I was still trying to figure out things at school and this week would be my first full week with my students. So instead of diving head on into the week I was stuck in bed. Despite my exhaustion I was determined to get some work done so I washed some dishes, sent e-mails, typed up my weekly newsletter, and even started making dinner plans. Then my computer started running super slow so I decided to restart it. After multiple attempts to turn it back on I decided that all hope was not gone…I could just start using Ben’s computer.

It was then that it hit me. Was I making the most of my day? Was I taking it easy and allowing my body to get the rest that I needed? Had I taken the time to ‘Be Still’ or was I determined to move forward despite how I was feeling? And so I slowed down for a time of reflection.

After Ben and I got married he wrapped up his annual read through the Bible. When he started back up again I decided to join him so I am currently knee deep in Exodus. As I revisited this familiar chapter today I was reminded of a passage I recently read in chapter 14 verse 14 “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” I was reminded of how hard I had been fighting over the past few months to simply keep my head above water - to be a principal, a teacher, a fiancé (now wife), daughter, and friend. When I reached moments of feeling defeat (when I didn’t think I had lived up to my expectations for myself) I beat myself up on the inside telling myself that I had failed those around me. The problem was I wasn’t letting Him fight for me. I was trying to do everything on my own strength, in my own way, and in my own timing. For a while it seemed to work, but no one can go on forever without taking the time to rest, to ‘Be Still’.

Since I have known Ben he has been a proponent of me taking breaks and getting rest. Needless to say I haven’t always been supportive of this idea as I felt there were too many things that needed to be done. But O how sweet to think back to the times when I did listen to his advice. When I took a leap of faith to take a day off, when I pushed work aside for the moment to read and pray, when I spent time listening to a friend rather than checking off items on a list of ‘to dos’. To ‘Be Still’, to slow down…. is it easy? No and I’m afraid it will be a lesson that I will be learning time and time again. So for today as I sip my juice and take my meds I am content to ‘Be Still’, to lay this year at His feet, and to wait in anticipation of what He is going to do.

Back to blogging

This blog was originally set up for a technology class that I was taking while getting my Masters degree. Recently I decided to revisit this blog and start writing again. I just added a recent entry entitled: Thoughts on Home. I hope to visit this blog more often as a place to put my thoughts down on paper so to speak :)

Thoughts on Home

Written on July 28, 2013

Looking at magazines like Southern Living all these years painted a picture in my head of what a home should look like- perfectly dressed families with coordinating outfits, tables that are laden with elaborate meals and décor and seat 16 of your closest friends, and beds decked out in layers of the finest sheets and enough pillows to satisfy even the pickiest of pillow connoisseur. Upon getting married I pictured myself being one of the women pictured in the magazine. I imagined that my hope chest items that I had so carefully guarded along with wedding gifts would stock my home to be one of perfection. Little did I know that I would be called to a place on the other side of the world, a place that would limit me from using those precious breakable items stored up for so many years. I didn’t know that I would be setting up an apartment in a place where there wasn’t a Bed, Bath, and Beyond and that finding items that I deemed important would be impossible to find.

So would I fail in setting up the home of my dreams? Now that the wedding is over and my marriage has begun I have had many moments of wrestling with this question. How could I set up a home in a foreign country where so many things seemed to be complicated? In thinking through these things I began to think through what the word ‘home’ actually means. In the minds of the women of Southern Living a home focuses around the things you have and what they look like, how many shades of blue you are able to coordinate into a room, and if your peach pie has a perfectly golden crust. But, in the end do these things really matter? The Bible says that things will be destroyed by moth and dust- this I have witnessed all too often living where I do. If our focus is on the things of this world then our focus is not where it needs to be. A home should not be a place of stuff or things rather it should be a safe place for people to gather and fellowship, a place for a family to be raised in the truths of God’s Word, and a place where His message can be proclaimed to the world.
The easier route may be to stay in a comfy home where you have access to all that you need (and there is nothing wrong with doing so if that is where you have been called), but what does that mean for those of us that have been called to a place very far from what we remember to be ‘home’. Have we failed? Perhaps we have from the eyes of magazine, but in His eyes we haven’t failed. Yes there will be days where you will be absolutely frustrated, where things just don’t seem to go as planned, where everything you try to accomplish just doesn’t work the way you intended…. In the end it isn’t about us setting up our home, rather it is about Him setting up our home through us. As the saying goes ‘Home is where the Heart Is’. In many ways that is true. Where our hearts are- including the attitude of our hearts affects our outlook on what the word ‘home’ truly means.

So after processing through this a bit do I still harbor the desire for a perfect home- yes in some ways I do…. it will always be a dream to live in a Southern home with a white picket fence and a wrap-around porch. Who knows maybe one day it will happen. Until then I am confident that He who brought me all the way across the world sees the big picture and knows exactly what I need. For today I can smile as I write this as I watch the sun set over the lake and am reminded of the humble white picket fence from my bedroom window- He knows our every thought :)

Technology Reflection

What teaching strategies used during this course compliment integration of technology? How do you personally define technology integration after completing this course?

Modeling is very important in the area of technology. Students must have an understanding of how something works before they can truly use or appreciate a specific form of technology. I have found that the use of a projector is helpful when explaining new technology concepts. Instead of students gathering around one computer the whole class can view what is taking place on my screen at the same time.

Following modeling it is important for teachers to ask questions and allow for time of student exploration. Many students are hands-on learners. You can model concepts all day long, but until they have the opportunity to actually put into practice what you have been teaching the modeling has had little benefit.

As students explore technology they need to in turn have opportunities to share what they have learned with others. As they prepare presentations and learn new material it is important that students have times of sharing amongst their peers.

Technology is not a separate entity that stands by itself. It is something that can make the learning process easier and more exciting for students. Projects, presentations, and such that can take loads of time can be cut down as students access technology in the learning process. Yes there will be times where technology skills need to be taught, but once they are learned there can easily be a necessary and many times meaningful transition. As both teachers and students tackle the problems that may arise during the use of technology integration will flow more naturally and connections will be made.

Effective Technology Methods

Reflect on the skills used as a result of your learning so far as you are applying to promote an effective method of applying the modern instructional technology and producing instructional media and aids into teaching.

Many times the use of technology in ones classroom goes beyond just completing a task or assignment. In the end technology can be an outlet for students to show ownership in their own work. As they are learning the necessary skills, they can in turn present material in a creative way that meets their individual needs. I have hesitated many times in the past to use technology as I felt it required too much additional work. By the time the laptops for all of my students were up and running I was exhausted and the lesson had barely begun. It has been amazing to see how over time the work becomes less as students begin to branch out and use technology on their own. The time that was used to teach students how to use a specific type of technology can then be transferred to the actual content or skill that needs to be taught or enforced.

What do you expect are the students’ affective outcomes from using these forms of technology?

Students of any age need encouragement. They need to know that they can be a part of the big picture, which is their classroom. I have seen how technology can be an outlet for students of not only different ages, but different ability groups as well. My students that struggle in the area of reading can take pictures and videos, create a presentation, and give an oral discussion about what they have learned. At the same time students that need the extra push can add more to their presentations through Word Documents or other means.

Multimedia and Culture

Sherry Turkle (2004) says, “Information technology is identity technology. Embedding it in a culture that supports democracy, freedom of expression, tolerance, diversity, and complexity of opinion is one of the decade’s greatest challenges (p.B28).”


What role could multimedia instructional materials and student multimedia projects play in bringing about this culture?

Students are very different in this day and age. They are exposed to a wide variety of multimedia sources , more so than ever. We are competing in many ways with a technology crazed society. Our students are used to watching TV, playing video games, and surfing the Web. If we show up in our classrooms expecting them to listen to our lectures and discussions then we need to do some deep thinking. Education is more than just a teacher talking, but it is a chance for students to get immersed in the learning process in a variety of ways. Multimedia allows students the opportunity to take ownership of their learning and to make it their own. Thinking back to the original quote (see above), just imagine how different our world would be if we began creating a spirit of democracy from an early age? What would it be like if even the smallest child could embrace diversity, express their opinions openly, and appreciate the thoughts of those around them? Multimedia can be a jumping point for establishing this culture in your own classroom.

How can teachers’ use of multimedia support the development of such a culture?

Students should have opportunities to express their thinking in a variety of ways. Recently I have been experimenting with a FlipCamera in my classroom. The students have used it to record reading presentations, but also as a forum to share their thoughts to others. I have seen even the shyest of students open up and express their opinion even if for a few seconds. I feel in many ways a democratic society has squelched the idea of sharing ones honest opinions with others. Yes, there are many that are vocal with their opinions and viewpoints, but in the end many simply follow without expressing what they hold to be true. We should desire as educators to give our students the chance to become communicators that can listen to the opinions of others, but at the same time know how to communicate their own viewpoint to the world around them.

What are the challenges in your classroom?

1- Limited resources: Many of the technology items in our school are shared amongst staff. Lessons must be planned way in advance to assure that the proper technology is available.

2- Limited funds: Our school currently has less than 100 students. As we struggle to provide for the basic needs of our school, many times technology and multimedia items are pushed to the back burner to look at later.

3- Student Focus: As mentioned in question number one, our students are being raised in a very different time than we were raised in. In many ways we are trying to keep our multimedia driven students focused on learning and the task at hand. If the two can be combined the better the result.