Written on: May 12, 2014
For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a teacher. From the time I was young I was creating crafts, projects, and even tests for my sister as well as my friends to complete under my tutelage. When I went to college there was no question what I would major in- teaching of course. It was my dream, my passion… I lived and breathed children’s literature, would lie awake at night laying out plans for my future classroom, and absolutely loved shopping and finding items for my classroom whether that be at a back to school sale at Target or visiting a local teacher supply store. In some ways I think it was in my blood. It has been something I have wanted to do since I was in the third grade.
You see I had an amazing 3rd grade teacher. A teacher that believed in me, that supported me, and even cried with me (third grade was the year that I got glasses- it was a bit rough to say the least). I knew after leaving her class I wanted to be her. I wanted to inspire and shape a group of children through education. So despite the fact that I was only 9 years old- I knew this was what I was meant to do.
I am currently wrapping up my tenth year of teaching. Add a college and Master’s degree to the mix it and has been quite the adventure. Three years of third grade teaching at the same school I did my student teaching at followed by seven years in China- a place that I have come to call home. Has it always been easy? Have I always loved it? No, there have been days I have been so exhausted, so frustrated… ready to give in, but in the back of my mind I always knew this was what I was meant to do. Two years of my teaching career in China I served as both the 2nd grade teacher and elementary principal. It was a lot and most days I felt like I was in way over my head. It was absolutely tiring and during this time I acquired hives that have yet to go away. My health was not the best, but despite this I knew the Father had called me to both of these jobs and I was content.
At the end of last school year I was given the chose to continue teaching or to serve as a full time administrator. Although there were things that I enjoyed about each of my jobs I knew I couldn’t give up teaching (my first love :). So after a two day retreat it was decided that I would no longer be principal, but would focus on teaching. This was an extremely difficult decision to make, but I knew in my heart of hearts that this is what I needed to do.
As this school year went on I began to feel a tug on my heart that this would be my last year of teaching and that after ten years it was time to take a break. Yes, I knew a break would be good for my health, but to be honest I wasn’t exactly sure why God was leading me in this direction. So after talking to my bosses we began to move forward with the plan of me not teaching the following year.
Just like in some ways I felt like I had lost my identify when I was married once again I feel like I am losing my identify as I step done from all that is familiar in life. I no longer need to buy items for my students in the summer, I don’t need to create supply lists or schedules…. ultimately my role will change in the community. Although I am not 100% sure what next year will look like I am looking forward to seeing what opportunities I have as I move into more of a part time role.
Ultimately I would love to start a family, to spend more time with the families in our community, and to help new staff get settled. I have no idea what the future holds, but I know who holds the future. Am I stepping out in faith? That I am, but I am confident that the same Heavenly Father that has been walking by my side throughout my life, who put a desire to teach on my heart, will also be working and molding me into exactly the person He needs me to be.
May I be faithful to follow Him and to be open to new possibilities in the future :).
